Top 9 Goals of the Week

While fans have been excitedly (and usually disappointingly) force-fed a slew of stories talking up the next world-class striker who could have been available during the transfer window, this week we pay homage to those strikers who couldn’t score in a brothel over the past seven days.

Luca Toni will be doing his best to convince people that he can shake off his ring-rust after his howler on Friday night. Having been triumphant in the cup in midweek, Bayern fell to a surprise 1-nil defeat at Hamburg in the Bundesliga, and the Italian with the stupid hand-to-ear celebration was personally liable for denying the Munich giants a share of the spoils.

In the 68th minute Bayern carved Martin Jol’s defence open. Phillip Lahm collected the ball on the left hand side of the area, shifted it onto his natural right foot and delivered a chipped cross over to Miroslav Klose at the back stick. The number 11 did brilliantly, climbing above his covering defender to head the ball back across the goal to the unmarked Luca Toni. 1-1 right? D’oh!

Brazilian strikers are suppose to be good. In fact not just good, but the best. So it is with great pleasure that we meet Corinthians forward Rodrigo de Souza.

On Saturday night Souza (a dead ringer for Fernando Sucre from Prison Break) lined up alongside his teammates to take on Oeste in the Paulista championship, a game that he wont forget in a while after committing one of the worse misses of the season. The visitors (who ended up losing 4-1) struggled to clear a corner midway through the first half. Corinthians eventually worked the space and a delicious inswinging cross was sent over to the far post. Unmarked, two yards out, Souza had the goal begging at his mercy. The keeper even tried his best to claim an assist by throwing himself at his near post in a lame effort to make a save.

Those of a nervous disposition should look away now.

But the ass of the week must be Franck Ribery for his egg-on-his-face moment during Bayern’s crushing defeat of Stuttgart in the German Cup last week.

In a match in which Bayern scored five times, and easily could have been more had they not decided to stop playing after an hour of the match, it is amazing that the most memorable moment of the game was a miss. But that is exactly what happened when Franck Ribery tried to be too sly for his own good, attempting to score a cheeky dinked penalty over what was supposed to be a calamitous keeper.

The joke back-fired big time as the Stuttgart custodian stood tall, failed to flinch and easily caught the ball to Ribery’s dismay. Sadly, the joy in Ribery’s despair was short-lived – the keeper was Jens Lehmann. (Watch here.)

Showing them how to put the ball in the net are the following nine goals from the last week of world football. There is a mixture of South American flair (goals 1 & 7), Italian craft (goals 3, 4 & 6), a super solo goal from Germany (goal 2) and two wonder-strikes from Turkey (goals 8 & 9).

As always, all we ask is that you sit back and enjoy!

1. Jorge Nunez (El Nacional v Nacional, Jan. 27, 2009)

2. Renato Augusto (Bayer Leverkusen v Energie Cottbus, Jan. 28, 2009)

3. Antonio Cassano (Sampdoria v Lazio, Jan. 28, 2009)

4. Antonio di Natale (Udinese v Juventus, Jan. 28, 2009)

5. Jose Callejon (Barcelona v Espanyol, Jan. 29, 2009)

6. Fabio Quagliarella (Napoli v Udinese, Jan. 31, 2009) (pictured)

7. Elkin Blanco (Venezuela v Colombia, Jan. 31, 2009)

8. Alex de Souza (Fenerbahce v Gaziantepspor, Feb. 1, 2009)

9. Rodrigo Tello (Besiktas v Antalyaspor, Feb. 1, 2009)


Narrowly missing out on this week’s list were goals from David Beckham, Cleiton Xavier, Arjen Robben, Hugo Almeida and Lionel Messi.