Video evidence: Mark van Bommel (Tottenham)

It’s the summer which means it was always just a matter of time before Harry Redknapp dusted down his pen and got out his chequebook. Having strengthened his attack, Harry is now looking to boost the midfield having concluded that Didier Zokora, Tom Huddlestone and Jermain Jenas are not up to the task of shielding the back four.

Following this week’s title tattle regarding a potential move for Arsenal legend Patrick Viera, the News of The World reports that Appy Harry is now looking at making a move for Bayern Munich’s Mark Van Bommel.

32-year-old Van Bommel would bring with him a wealth of top flight and international experience. The 6ft 1 ½ inch midfielder made his name at PSV Eindhoven where he appeared 169 times and netted 46 goals for the Rood-witten. A move to one of Europe’s big clubs was the next logical step and he joined Frank Rijkaard’s Oranje revolution at Barcalona.

He was part of a squad which picked up a La Liga title and won the Champions League, nevertheless his spell was considered an unsuccessful one, he made a paltry 24 appearances for the Catalan giants. Bayern Munich recalling his form at PSV believed that the midfielder could once again become a dominant force in the centre of the park and paid £4.5 million to bring him to Bavaria.

The transfer proved to be a bargain. His terrific performances during his first season at Bayern led to him being voted the Bayern Player of the Year for the 2006–07 season. His standing at the club was confirmed when he was made Bayern’s first non German captain following Oliver Khan’s retirement, no mean feat for a Dutchman.    

Van Bommel is primarily a defensive midfielder but he possesses boundless energy which means that he can also be utilised as a box to box midfielder. He will not just sit in front of the back four in a Makalelesque type fashion, his vision and creativity mean that he can look to start counter-attacks as well as thread the ball through to his strikers. He is one of those players who are totally committed to the cause and his ultra aggressiveness has led to numerous disciplinary problems. For example, last season he collected 13 yellow and one red card, an impressive tally for any midfield enforcer.

Tottenham are looking for a midfielder who can bring both experience and solidity to the north London club and Van Bommel is definitely a player who fits the bill. He has one year left on his contract which does give Harry a window of opportunity. However, he is settled at Bayern, captains the club and will enjoy Champions League football next year. Only a blinkered Tottenham fan would expect this deal to come to fruition, it’s just NOTW filling up their sports section with nonsense.

One player who will be upset that this story is a fallacy is Didier Drogba who is already acquainted with Van Bommel’s penis.

For video evidence watch here.