It’s 2009 and the world has gone mad: a tale of two transfers (Defoe and Pennant)

The transfer window has come to life with Tottenham’s (re)purchase of Jermain Defoe. Defoe has the distinct honour of being loved and missed by both Tottenham fans and manager Harry Redknapp. Ever since Juande Ramos sold Defoe in January 2008 Spurs fans have been chanting his name at both home and away games whilst ‘appy Harry has now managed the striker at three different clubs.

Despite the fans and the manager’s delight with their acquisition, the one man who must surely be pulling his hair out is Mr Prudence himself, Tottenham Chairman Daniel Levy. How he likes to crow about his brilliant negotiating skills. Levy always takes the time to remind us all of how he eked out £32 million from Manchester United for Berbatov and £20 million from Liverpool for Robbie Keane.

Well Mr Prudence, originally you bought Defoe for £7 million then he was sold for £7.5 million and now you have got him back for the princely sum of £15.75 million. I’m no mathematician or accountant but I think that totals a loss of £15.25 million; it’s just unbelievable.

You also have Darren Bent who was purchased for £16.5 million and Pavlyuchenko who came in for £14 million. It’s back to the same old problem for Tottenham, three strikers who consider themselves first choice and only two starting spots. How on earth will you make a profit on either of those two?

What is even crazier is that Defoe’s value has doubled in one year. We are in the midst of a credit crunch, the world’s economies are suffering from deflationary pressures and yet we have found an asset that will double in value in these tough times.

I am sure that someone will remind me that Defoe’s scoring average for Portsmouth was almost one goal in every two games, but were his displays really worth a £8.25 million mark up?

As for what is going on at AC Milan I am momentarily lost for words (hang on)….ok here it goes. How on earth is Jermaine Pennant, an average player at best being linked with AC Milan? Ronaldinho will be thrilled.

I almost collapsed when I read that Real Madrid had shown an interest in acquiring him. They must be absolutely desperate for players. But Pennant? A footballer who has never ever lived up to his ability or looked like doing so? Pull the other one.

If reports are to be believed the reason that the transfer broke down was due to Pennant insisting that he was worth £60,000 a week rather than the £35,000 per week that was being offered. I don’t want to get personal but when Pennant wakes up in the morning and looks in the mirror I wonder who he sees?

The self delusion continues and what is even more galling is that Pennant found it within himself to look this gift-horse in the mouth and still turn them down. No, he prefers hanging out with the Liverpool reserve team at some non-descript Rugby League ground to the chance of playing the matador to the thronging crowds at the Santiago Bernabeu.

Someone please explain to me why anyone would want to touch a player with such extensive disciplinary problems? He was discarded by Wenger, no mean judge of talent, for late time keeping and negatively influencing Ashley Cole (as if he needed it). At Birmingham he was convicted of drink driving whilst being on a 16 month driving ban. His stupidity was compounded when he gave his name to the officer who pulled him over as Ashley Cole. Finally at Liverpool he was arrested for a Section 5 public order offence as a result of a domestic dispute.

Pennant must be reading his stars correctly there is no other explanation; he must have known that AC Milan would be the next club to be beat a path to his door and that is why he priced himself out of a move to Madrid.

The former club of Rivera, Baresi, Gullitt, van Basten and Shevchenko, a club that has won 7 European Cups and 17 League titles is close to resembling a circus.

Beckham’s transfer was greeted with bemusement from the Rosseoneri fans, now try imagining how they will greet Pennant’s arrival. They definitely won’t be saying “oh that’s great we finally have the missing piece of the puzzle. With Pennant here Kaka, Ronaldinho, Pato and Pirlo can finally shine.”

Furthermore, I am beginning to wonder if AC Milan’s scouts actually watch the Premiership or are they shopping in Milan’s famous boutiques?

During pre-season AC Milan brought in Philipe Senderos on a season long loan. At Arsenal he was groomed to become the new Tony Adams. The fans even gave him the nickname of “Swiss Tony”. Apart from one good run in the 2005-2006 season, an absolutely plastered Tony Adams would have been a better bet than Senderos who was constantly out-thought, outrun and out-muscled by every attacking player it was his responsibility to mark.

It’s just too much for me to take. 2009 has begun