Top 14 Goals of the Week

What is Portuguese for “when in doubt, lump it out?”

Whether its a series of freak horror shows or just a long adjustment period after the winter break, the Portuguese Superliga is doing its best to prove that they house the worst defenders in Europe.

For the first piece of evidence the clock has to be wound back to January 11th, to the meeting between Associacao Naval and Academica Coimbra. And the man at the centre of the action is the visitors’ Brazilian number four, Luiz Duarte.

Now, you’d think that little could go wrong from a Brazilian taking a harmless free-kick from the halfway line. I mean, the worst that will happen is that the ball would be hoofed into the opponents’ box only for possession to be lost.

Well, wrong. (0.25 seconds into the video.)

Next up is Vitoria Setubal’s Brazilian centre-half Robson, who tried to play too much football only to end up with a heap load of egg on his face. With the visitors adopting rugby tactics and looking to work the yardage down the line, Robson, the last defender, looked comfortable as he positioned his body between the attacker and the ball while standing next to the touchline. But rather doing the simple thing and kicking the ball into touch, Robson looked to be clever and pass the ball back to his keeper.

Do’h!

Last, but not least, is Javier Cohene from S.C. Olhanense. By way of a caveat, unlike the two previous examples, Olhanense play in Portugal’s second tier, but that in no way makes the slightest bit of difference in sizing up the number 21’s screw up in yesterday’s match with Vitoria Guimaraes.

Once again we find a defender, under barely any pressure, heading towards his own goal looking to marshal the ball back to his own keeper. Simple, right. Just put you’re foot through the ball and everything will be fine. Right?

Wrong! (0.30 seconds into the video.)

On the flipside we have once again witnessed another great week of football which has seen a collection of superb goals hit the back of the net across the planet.

Several players decided to ditch their teammates this week, with a host of sublime solo goals in the form of goals 1, 7, 8, 14. There was also a fine selection of long-to-middle range rippers in the past seven days that accounted for goals 2, 9, 10 and 11.

The finesse side was covered by goals 3 and 12, while goal 6 stands alone not for the actual quality of the final strike but rather the quality of the build up play.

Finally, if you only have time to watch two goals this week you must click on goals 5 and 13.

As always, all we ask is that you sit back and enjoy!

1. Ala Al-Kuwaikabi (v Bayern Munich, Jan. 12, 2009)

2. Marco Rossi (v Inter Milan, Jan. 13, 2009)

3. Angel di Maria (v Olhanense, Jan. 14, 2009)

4. Julio Baptista (v Sampdoria, Jan. 14, 2009)

5. Gonzalo Colsa (v Valencia, Jan. 14, 2009)

6. Eidur Gudjohnsen (v Atletico Madrid, Jan. 14, 2009) (assist Andres Iniesta)

7. Lionel Messi (v Deportivo La Coruna, Jan. 17, 2009)

8. Fabien Delph (v Brighton, Jan. 17, 2009) (second goal on the video)

9. Zdravko Popovic (v Panionios, Jan. 18, 2009)

10. Marat Izmailov (v Pacos Ferreira, Jan. 18, 2009)

11. Juan Pablo Pino (v Caen, Jan. 18, 2009)

12. Bosko Jankovic (v Lecce, Jan. 18, 2009)

13. Julio Baptista (v Torino, Jan. 18, 2009)

14. Paul Konchesky (v West Ham, Jan. 18, 2009)

***

Narrowly missing out on this week’s list were goals from Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Roy Maakay, Alexandre Pato, Ben Sahar and Olaf Mellberg.