You could not make this stuff up if you tried.
Well, actually that’s exactly what Dubai property investment company The First Group is trying to do in a series of terrible videos as believable as the old Back to the Future ride at Universal Studios.
Playing the role of a wooden helicopter pilot, Newcastle’s Michael Owen stars in a horribly bad ten minute promotional video showing the best the Dubai has to offer from the comfort of a world-class chopper. While many of the shots of Dubai are fabulous, Owen’s nasal commentary is enough to put the most excitable property tycoon to sleep, as the former England striker delivers an unemotional and monotone one-way conversation that makes you wish the advert had an emergency parachute escape.
In a twist of genius from the makers of the video, they also decided to welcome Chelsea’s virtually unemployed Andrei Shevchenko into their family, making sure that the Ukrainian is not without work at this time of global recession. Chartering the exact same route with the exact same camera angles, Shevchenko is clearly looking to mop up on the Russian and Ukrainian trade in the Middle East.